And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
Mosiah 24:14
Tomorrow morning at 9:30am, we were supposed to see our baby's heartbeat. Every time I think about that, my heart breaks a little. I am grateful that my boss scheduled a staff meeting for tomorrow, so I won't be staring at the clock thinking about what might have been. I am even more grateful that I found out the baby had stopped growing prior to tomorrow's appointment. As devastating as it was to get that phone call, finding out in the doctor's office would have been even harder.
I am saying extra prayers tonight that tomorrow goes by quickly.
Ryan had a dream today that I was pregnant again. I asked if we were nervous or scared in the dream and he said no. We were happy.
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Madly in love but sadly infertile - Finally parents thanks to God above and the miracle of modern medicine!
Ryan and Michelle
Madly in love but sadly infertile - Finally parents thanks to God above and the miracle of modern medicine!
Purpose of this Blog
I started this blog back in 2006, when I first began treatments for infertility. At that time, it had been three years since we had started trying to begin our family. Once treatments began, it became clear that infertility was not a quick detour on this road of life; rather, it's a journey.
But at the end of it all, when those beautiful children finally come into my life, I want them to know that they were loved years before they were mine.
So, I am writing this for me and for them. And if it allows you to peak into my world, then that's good too.
But at the end of it all, when those beautiful children finally come into my life, I want them to know that they were loved years before they were mine.
So, I am writing this for me and for them. And if it allows you to peak into my world, then that's good too.
Our Cheerleaders!
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OUR DIAGNOSIS:
UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY
Treatments
Song of the Moment
My Journey...
- Sept 1996: Our first date - We were 16 years old
- Aug 2000: Married my high school sweetheart
- Jan 2002: Joined a trying-to-conceive online group
- Aug 2003: Officially began TTC
- April 2004: Got an ovulation kit
- July 2004: Referral to Dr. Synn - Fertility Specialist
- Sept 2004: Did a battery of fertility tests. All normal.
- Oct 2006: Began blogging my fertility experiences
- Oct 2006: 1st round of Clomid - BFN
- Dec 2006: 2nd round of Clomid (with patches and progesterone) - BFN
- Jan 2007: 3rd round of Clomid (with patches, progesterone, and IUI) - BFN
- Feb 2007: 4th round of Clomid (with patches, progesterone, and IUI) - BFN
- June 2007: Laparoscopic and Hysteroscopic Surgery - No endo found
- July 2007: Repeated all fertility-related blood work. All numbers look perfect.
- April 2008: First acupuncture appointment
- May 2008: Thyroid panel testing - All normal
- Sept 2008: Began sessions with a psychologist
- Jan 2009: Started Treatment for Depression
- Sept 2009: Repeated Bloodwork - Numbers still normal
- Oct 2009: Back on the acupuncture bandwagon
- Jan 2010: Another Break
- March 2010: Fully weened off the antidepressants
- May 2010: Back to the RE; Second HSG. Tubes all clear.
- July 2010: 1st Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Aug 2010: 2nd Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - First Ever BFP!!!
- Sept 2010: Miscarriage at 5 weeks
- Oct 2010: 3rd Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Nov 2010: 4th Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Jan 2011: 5th Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFP!
- Oct 2011: FINALLY held our baby girl in our arms. Life is Good.
"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."-Gordon B Hinckley
Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we wanted them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.
- Joseph F. Smith
- Joseph F. Smith
Hope Springs Eternal
FAITH
Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.
- Gordon B. Hinckley
- Gordon B. Hinckley
My Desire
What we consistently desire, over time is what we we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.
Neal A. Maxwell
Neal A. Maxwell
The Pain of Infertility...
My Poetry:
If I Was Blind
My Videos:
Faith and Fertility...
A Year in the Life of Infertility...
Carry Your Cross...
His Hands...
4 comments:
I will be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers Monday. Hoping it goes by quickly and peacefully for you!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Again, I am so very sorry this happened and yes, I am so very grateful that you did't find out at your appointment. That was exactly how I found out and I just remember being whisked from the u/s room, to the waiting area, into the doctors office and then finally to admin for scheduling all the while walking by what seemed like billions of pictures of tiny, precious babies on the wall. I was fighting to keep it together and it was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. So while it breaks my heart that this happened to you, I am at least grateful that you found out the way you did which admittedly is still heartbreaking no matter what. (((hugs)))
Isn't it amazing how the scriptures can be so different at different times. I just read through Mosiah recently... and am flabbergasted that I missed that amazing scripture! Thank you for sharing it!
Today will go by quickly!
And what a wonderful dream! Now Ryan can be a "visionary man"
I hope your bad dreams and nightmares go away soon. Even my husband was having bad dreams after my miscariage, and that hurts.
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