Sunday, February 24, 2008


Well, it's been a while. No posts for 3 months, that might be a record. Life has been busy and I have welcomed the distraction. I have been studying for my CFP test, coming up in about a month. Once that is taken (and passed, hopefully) life should return to "normal", whatever that is. And with that, I know the pain of infertility will rear its ugly head again.

On the baby front, I am feeling quite stuck. I am not sure where to go from here. Supposedly, we should be getting a "rebate" check around May that would almost cover one fertility treatment. The thought of using that check for that purpose is exciting. But, on the other hand, adoption has been on my mind too.

There are people out there who would think me crazy to call it quits on fertility treatments so soon. After all, I am only in "Stage Two" treatments. They are relatively cheap, where fertility treatments are concerned. Seems most adoptions occur after many years and thousands of dollars are spent on treatments. Adoption is the last step for many couples. Here I am, just one step past basic Clomid, and I feel ready to jump to the end.

But it has been nearly 5 years since I began this journey. Perhaps I'm just so ready for a child, that I can not bear any more time "wasted" doing the treatments. Of course, if they work, it wouldn't be time wasted. But if I knew they would work, my answer would be obvious.

I know that I can not solve this dilemma on my own. Prayer is the only answer here. So, as the poem says "I'll pray and calmly wait", which is much easier said than done.