Friday, September 30, 2011

Doctor's Appointment

Dilated over 3cm. Cervix is low, thin and soft. Still cramping, stronger now, but still no regular contractions. Maybe this weekend??? Anything's possible!

And happy due date to you, Miss Katelyn! We did it. :)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Just a quick update...

I continue to have cramps off and on, but no regular contractions.  Just today, I felt a dramatic increase in pressure and weight, and Katelyn feels much lower.  Not sure any of that means anything, but I continue to just go with the flow.  I am uncomfortable but not miserable, and I even have moments where I feel pretty good... just really big!

Friday is my due date and my last day of work (I think).  It is also the day of my next (and last???) doctor's appointment.  Because of reschedules, it will have been 2 weeks since someone checked my "progress".  At that time, I wasn't dilated at all and my cervix was still pretty thick.  We'll see what Friday holds for us!

And so we wait!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Around Here

Last minute preparations are going on around here... For the most part, we are ready to go.  Katelyn has everything she will need in the beginning at least.  The laundry's done, her bag is packed.  Now we are just doing the odds and ends.  Like I really need my bathroom floors scrubbed.  Not mopped.  *Scrubbed.*  But that should happen today.

Her nursery isn't quite finished either.  I need to paint a few frames and put those up.  Also, her wooden name letters.  I have a few more ties I need to do on her quilt.  I wanted to do a little pillow for her rocking chair.  The biggest project of all is her bird mobile.  I have all the birds cut out and pinned, but they need to be sewn, stuffed and mounted on the twigs.  Then hung of course.  None of these things matter when it comes to bringing her home, but it would be lovely if they were done before she gets here.

We also have no food in this house.  I know many women pack their freezer in preparation for the birth, but I just haven't gotten bit by that bug.  I admire them though, because I am sure they will be reaping the rewards in a few weeks while I send my hubby out for Subway.  Again.

As for how I am feeling?  As good as can be expected!  I am not feeling miserable or anything.  Just uncomfortable, mostly when I am in my office chair at work or sitting at church.  I haven't really been having contractions too much, just random ones here and there.  Mostly, I've been having period-like cramps.  They can be pretty strong and can last for a few hours at a time.  I've had them in the front and also in my back.  I usually just try to rest and I sometimes take a Tylenol, which doesn't do much.  Nothing unbearable though, just intense and uncomfortable.  When they happen, I just try to picture my cervix cramping and dilating, getting ready for our little girl to COME OUT! :)

Ryan thinks we will have an October baby.  Last night, he predicted we would be going out to dinner on our due date.  For some reason, I think she'll come before that.  Both are just wild guesses.  We'll see what happens!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Stretch Marks

In the last couple days, they have arrived!  I went from a few on each hip to about 10 tiny ones on each butt cheek plus a few on what is now the "underside" of my belly.  And, honestly, I don't care a bit!

A friend recently sent this to me, and I cried when I read it.  My tummy may not have as many marks as this (yet?), but I would be fine if it did.  I am so focused on getting my baby *here*, safe in my arms, that sometimes I have to remember to enjoy these moments with her still inside.  This pregnancy is a gift and I am forever grateful.

"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dress Rehearsal

Yesterday about 3pm, I started to get sharp pains running up my abdomen into my lungs and chest.  They were pretty severe, but lasted a short time and came sporadically.  They did not feel like contractions at all (at least not like Braxton Hicks or the few "real" contractions I've had in the past).  Two hours later, when they were still happening, Ryan suggested I call the doctor's office just to see what they say. 

I called and, of course, began with the words, "I am pretty sure I'm not in labor but...".  I would say these words several times as the night went on.  I explained what was happening and it confused her.  There was no doctor there for her to talk with and in the end, she told me I should go to Labor and Delivery to just make sure everything was okay with Katelyn.

Well, great.  She had to say it like that.  I hemmed and hawed (one of my grandma sayings...) for a good half hour after that.  I *knew* I wasn't in labor and going there seemed like a total waste.  But she told me it was to make sure everything was okay with Katelyn.  How do I ignore that???  What if I do, and something is wrong.  Would I ever forgive myself?

So Ryan and I decided to go.  I didn't even bring my overnight bag (or finish packing it for that matter).  That was how sure I was that this was not "it".  I felt so embarrassed even walking the halls and registering, putting on a hospital bracelet, going up to triage.  I knew that embarrassment was nothing compared to the embarrassment I would feel when I had to walk back to the car because nothing was going on.

When we got to triage, I decided that I was here now, so let's make the best of it.  Ryan and I said let's call it our dress rehearsal!  I was getting the chance (under protest) to see it all before the big day, so that was nice.  The hospital was not busy, so I didn't feel stressed or like I was talking up someone's place who actually needed it.  My nurse was a sweet gal from England who didn't make me feel dumb at all for being there when I obviously didn't need to be.

I changed into their hospital gown and Ryan quickly understood why I bought my own hospital gown for the actual "big day".  He had decided to document this experience and got a nice picture of my butt peaking out the back.  I won't put that one on here (obviously), but here I am all hooked up in triage.  Someone this relaxed and happy is obviously not in labor...

But the girl next to me was.  She was breathing hard and heavy.  I think it made Ryan nervous.  He said it sounded like there was an animal in there!  I told him he is getting a sneak peek of things to come...

I stayed on the monitors for a while and it turns out I was having minor contractions every 2-4 minutes.  I hardly noticed them, except for a few stronger ones (and I use the term "stronger" very loosely - these are nothing!).  I hadn't felt the severe cramping / pulling once since I got to the hospital (of course, isn't that always how it is?), so we couldn't see what that looked like on the monitor.  The reason I came, Katelyn, was under protest with the monitors strapped to my belly.  She moved constantly, changing her heart rate from 115 to 160 and back down again.  I guess all three of us thought this hospital trip was a little ridiculous!

Finally, the nurse checked me.  Which, by the way, holy cow!  She is no Dr. M!  When he checked me, I hardly felt anything.  After her check, I felt like she knew everything about me in the matter of 30 seconds.  Yikes!  But sure enough, not dilated, not thinned out, and my cervix is still a bit posterior.  Katelyn's head is very low though, so that's a good sign!

So, that was it!  I got dressed and we left, with our tail between our legs.  Okay, so not really.  I went because my doctor's office told me to and, all in all, I am glad I did.  I got to see how it all will happen when the "real deal" comes along.  And we had fun!  Which is more than I can say for our next visit to triage...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Breaking News Sent Right to your Phone! ;)

If you would like a text and a pic when Katelyn is born, please email me your cell number ( We will update Facebook and this Blog at some point with lots of info and pictures, but after receiving a few requests to receive a text, we are creating a "text group" (kind-of like a modern-day version of the 'phone tree'). :D Just make sure your phone/plan accepts multi-media messages and that you are okay with getting a text at 2am, if that is how it goes down. ;)

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


I am late posting an update. I usually do it once a month, which would have been 36 weeks, but life was too busy so I thought I’d wait until “full-term” at 37 weeks. I’m still a few days late, but here it is! Finally. :)
Writing down all these feelings and emotions I am experiencing as I sit here *full-term* pregnant with my baby girl has been overwhelming. So to help me get started I decided to do one of those pregnancy “surveys”. Here we go!

How Far Along: 37 weeks 5 days

Size of Baby: Um, my iPhone app says the size of a watermelon, nearly 7 pounds. Oh my goodness!

Maternity Clothes: I’ve actually grown OUT of some of my maternity clothes. I can get into them, but around my middle kind-of feels like a sausage stuffed into a casing. ;)

Weight Gain: Hard to say. It fluctuates so dramatically from appointment to appointment. I would say just over 30 pounds total.

Belly: It feels pretty big! Well, to me anyway. Practically daily I am told that I don’t look as far along as I am. I try to think of that as a blessing, that I don’t look TOO huge and miserable yet. And the doctor assures me I am still in the “normal” range, just on the small-end of normal. But from the side, I can look pretty dang pregnant, especially when I wear certain items! Like stripes! See picture below.

Stretch Marks: I finally got some about a week ago or so. They aren’t on my belly though; they are actually on my hips. I have about three small pink ones on each side.

Sleep: I now consider a night’s sleep more of a cluster of naps. It is easier to come to terms with it that way. Sometimes, I am only up 5 minutes between my “naps” and other times it could be an hour or more. I thank my acid reflux for that. I now sleep sitting straight up on the couch most nights. My standard for a “good night sleep” has been lowered quite a bit. If I go through a whole night without waking up suddenly with my mouth, nose, lungs, and even *ears* one time, full of stomach acid, I call that a good night!

Best Moments since last update: Finding out Katelyn was head down. Making some progress on the nursery. Attending newborn / childbirth classes.

Movement: She loves to shift her bum side to side making my tummy look like a waterbed. She also likes to push out her feet which feel like hard little lumps. When she sticks out a body part, I love to pat it back in. It’s our fun little game.

Symptoms: The acid reflux and the swelling are really my only big symptoms. I mean, I have backaches, a sore pelvis, my feet hurt, bloody nose bleeds, etc etc but, hello? I am carting around 7 pounds of baby! That’s to be expected.

Food Cravings: No specific cravings, although I am still eating meat like crazy!

What I Miss: I don't really miss anything. I am looking forward to being more mobile again, like standing up and walking without pausing to check my balance and if I am stable. I am a bit like the rusty tin man when I first stand up.

What I'm Looking Forward to: As of my last doctor's appointment (2 days ago), I haven't dilated at all, so I am looking forward to hearing when I am dilating. Not that I am trying to rush the delivery, but I would just love to hear that my body knows what to do. Infertility makes you feel "broken" physically, and I still deal with that a lot. So hearing I am experiencing normal symptoms and events always makes me feel good.

Weekly Wisdom: I have none. Just talking it one day at a time!

Milestones: Two words: FULL-TERM

Emotions: Excited, nervous, emotional, thankful.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Pregnancy is Beautiful!

Now, I've probably mentioned in a previous entry that I've been a bit of a sweller... 

First, I need to disclaim that everything looks great with the pregnancy.  I have always had great blood pressure numbers, never had protein in my urine, and my weight gain is on par.  So besides being really uncomfortable, there is nothing horrible about the fact that my feet swell. 

But I thought it would be a fun thing to document anyway.  They say pregnancy is beautiful... well it can also be a bit hilarious too.

My swelling issue started in my feet only.  Ryan "affectionately" called them my Fred Flintstone Feet.  One day, he drew this cute cartoon of my foot on the grocery list.  It was pretty true to life.  I love a man that always keeps me laughing.

Soon, the swelling spread to my ankles. This was an especially bad night. It reminds me of the Klumps...

I wish I had a picture of my foot when it was normal to compare to.  This picture alone doesn't do it justice.  My normal foot and ankle is about half as thick as what you see here.

Luckily, the swelling has stayed below my knees, for the most part.  And waiting to see what will become of my feet each day has become a guessing game.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  I avoid sodium, drink lots of water, use compression stockings, etc.  Some days, your feet just have to swell anyway.  So I am going with it.

And I still say pregnancy is beautiful!

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Yesterday marked one year since we lost our little Appleseed.  Tonight I was telling Ryan everything I could remember about that day.  Of course, I became emotional.  In an attempt to brighten the mood, he said something like, "Look where you are now!"

That is true.  We are weeks (or maybe even days) away from meeting our little girl.  Anyone who knows me, spends time with me, or reads this blog understands how grateful I am for this blessing.

But one does not replace the other, and I still feel sad when I think of the teeny tiny life we lost one year ago.  I just wanted to say in all the excitement of the new life that will be joining us, I have not forgotten the one we lost last September 9th.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


If my husband saw the title of this post, he would say something like, “Okay, Grandma!” He loves to make fun of me when I use words he calls ‘old-fashioned’.

But that may be the perfect word for what I am feeling right now!

We have all seen those “breast cancer awareness” facebook status update trends… Where your purse is, bra color, shoe size, etc etc. Personally, I’ve always thought they are kind-of dumb. The idea is, you post something vague according to the instructions (“I like it on the kitchen counter”) and people wonder what you are talking about (that one describes where your purse is – on the kitchen counter – but of course it sounds sexual). You aren’t supposed to tell any “men” what it means.

Somehow, in SOME way, this is supposed to raise breast cancer awareness. I have no idea how. Reading people’s shoe size did not remind me about breast cancer. Now, if someone was posting about a fundraiser or the link to a breast cancer website, I could see that raising awareness. But who are we kidding? Is there *anyone* out there that is not aware of breast cancer? And how does this game make us aware??? Especially when you don’t tell the men, when many times MEN are the ones who notice a change in their wife’s breasts first.

Now the new cancer “game” has really rubbed me wrong. This time, you post, “I am ___ weeks and I’m craving ________.” The blanks are filled in with a number and a treat that is defined by your birthday.

Of course, when someone posts this, all others who don’t know the “game” immediately start speculating… “Are you pregnant???” and, true to the rules, the poster refuses to answer. Sound fun? Are you more aware of breast cancer now?

The whole thing is ridiculous, because of the reasons above, but this newest game really upsets me. I think back nine months ago and how it would feel reading status after status of women pretending to be pregnant and having fun with people who think they, in fact, are. I think back to after my miscarriage, how I would feel to read these updates and think, “Well, I should have been ___ weeks by now, and craving ________, but my baby is gone.”

So, maybe I’m a “spoilsport” and no fun, but I can’t wait for this fad to be over. It’s all I can do not to comment on every one of these status updates, “No, she’s not pregnant, and if you really want to learn more about breast cancer, you can start HERE.”