10 and 5

Top Ten Things NOT to say to a person with Infertility*

10. You've been married SIX years? What's the hold up? Don't you want kids?

9. Are you sure you're doing it right? (Laugh)

8. You're not getting any younger…

7. Oh, yeah! I know just how you feel! We tried for 5 MONTHS to get pregnant!!!

6. (Looking at their own children) Are you sure you want one? You can have these!!!

5. Look how clean your house is! You can tell no kids live here! (Laugh)

4. I tried for 3 months to get pregnant, and then I tried "XYZ Product" and it happened! I'm sure that will work for you too!

3. I wish I had the free time you do! You're so lucky! My kid(s) keep me so busy with "such and such".
(Just a note on this one… We want nothing more than to know what your kids are doing. We want to know all about it! But please don't call us "lucky" because we don't have kids.)

2. Did you know you can tell when you ovulate by taking your temperature???
(Trust me, we know.)

And the Number One thing NOT to say to a person with Infertility…

1. Just RELAX and it will happen!
(Sometimes just relaxing does help you to conceive but other times there are medical issues and no amount of relaxing can change that. Also, have you ever told someone to "not think about a zebra"? What happens? They immediately think of a zebra. The same goes with telling someone "relax" or "don't think about it". So, do all of us a favor and keep that advice to yourself!)

All of these things have been said to me at one time or another. Some of them several times! None of these comments were made with any ill intention. Some of it is great advice for someone just beginning to think about having a family. However, once you have been trying to conceive for three years, there isn't any advice you haven't heard!

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So, what DO you say to a person with Infertility? Here are some suggestions…

Top Five Things to say to a person with Infertility

5. How are you feeling? (Only ask this if you truly want to know the answer.)

4. Let's go get ice cream!

3. I was just thinking about you.

2. I care about you.

And the Number One thing to say to a person with Infertility …

1. If you ever want to talk about it, I am here, but only if and when you want to. (And if they don't take you up on that, change the subject!)


*Infertility is defined as trying to conceive with no success for more than one year.

Pregnancy… or the lack thereof - Part 1

Well...not really a stretch considering the title but it did not happen for me this month. Luckily, I began spotting early so I have known for a few days now it didn't look good.

Anyway, I am moving on...I'll do the Clomid again with a double-dose this time around (2 pills a day). I'll still do the trigger shot and we'll add Progesterone pills after ovulation.
Here's to another countdown and more forced sex!

Fertility, or the lack thereof - Part 1

Mid-Cycle Ultrasound

I took my last Clomid on Friday night. I was prepared to endure horrible side effects but, surprisingly enough, felt none at all! I have been emotional lately, but that began the day before the Clomid so that wouldn't be related. I was concerned that because I haven't had side effects, maybe it didn't work.

Well, I went back to the Doctor's office today. The nurse there (who is so sweet) gave me an ultrasound. I was pretty anxious. First, she looked at my left ovary and there was nothing going on there. That's when I got nervous.

Next, she looked at my right ovary and, oh my gosh, a huge follicle was staring back at us. One big follicle with (hopefully) one mature egg inside. It was so large that I may just ovulate it on my own!! Even so, I'll give myself the trigger shot tomorrow morning. I am supposed to do it at 9:30am exactly so I guess I'll be doing it in the bathroom at work. (Not exactly how you picture conceiving a child!)

So, it worked!!! Even if no pregnancy results, this is progress. The nurse told me my chances on Clomid are about 8%. I hope I beat the odds and get a positive result in 2 weeks.

Here's the bittersweet part, I am supposed to test on November 22nd...my 27th birthday. Here's hoping I have something to celebrate.