Monday, February 14, 2011

Two beating hearts?

It’s Valentine’s Day. The day of love. And what better symbol for love than a heart? I love hearts. Probably because I am not artistic in the least and a heart is something I can actually draw or cut out. Plus they’re pretty and feminine. And I just love them.

Today, I have had hearts on the brain. Specifically, two tiny hearts. My babies’ hearts. One I saw beating away while the other seemed still. Here I am one week later, hoping to see *two* flashing dots on the screen this time. Life times two.

It took some time to process what happened after last ultrasound. You hope to see one healthy baby. You fear seeing your baby without a heartbeat. But I was unprepared to see both possibilities.

Immediately, I felt I should be grateful for Twin B and that beautiful, beating heart. And I am SO very grateful. But when I looked at Twin A, all I wished is for his/her heart to beat too. Seeing both babies, those teeny tiny grains of rice, I loved them both immediately. And I so want both of them to be a part of our life.

Tomorrow we see if that is to be.

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