Thursday, March 24, 2011

Andie and Appleseed

Like many women who have lost a baby due to miscarriage, I often wonder how the eternal perspective comes into play in situations like these. There are a lot of opinions about when the spirit enters a body. I have heard it’s at the moment of conception, when the heart beats, or when a baby takes his or her first breath. Some people have said that these miscarried babies return as other babies at a later time. It’s hard to know what to believe.

My gut has always told me they are individual spirits, that life begins at conception, and that my babies won’t return as other babies. I have had some personal experiences that have helped me feel this way.

Recently, I watched a video and read the story of a little boy who claims he saw heaven. He was close to death for 17 days when he was 4 years old. Once he had recovered, he began to talk about the things he had seen while he was so ill. Many of the things he had seen were shocking to his parents, as they were situations he had no prior knowledge of and couldn’t have known. For example, he was able to describe exactly where his dad was praying during the boy’s surgery. When asked how he knew this (as not even the boy’s mother knew where the dad was at this time), the boy simply said during that time he was sitting in Jesus’ lap, watching his father pray. There were several examples of this.

Personally, the most touching part of his experience is described in the following narrative from The Today Show:

‎"The real shocker came when Colton told his mother, “Mommy, I have two sisters.” Sonja told her son that he had to be referring to his oldest sister, Cassie, and his cousin Traci, but he responded: “No — I have two sisters. You had a baby die in your tummy, didn’t you?”

Sonja told Matt Lauer (who was conducting the interview) the family had never uttered a word about the miscarriage to Colton — and what’s more, they never even learned the sex of their miscarried child. “It was a private hurt that we didn’t even share with our friends,” Sonja said, adding Colton’s revelation was at first “shocking, but then a relief that she’s OK, which we didn’t know she was a she.”

In a subsequent TODAY segment Monday, Sonja filled in Colton’s description of his meeting with his sister: “He told us what she looked like, and she wouldn’t stop hugging him. And she doesn’t have a name.”

“When he told us about his sister in heaven, that we hadn’t told him about, [it was] another one of those ‘holy cow’ moments — OK, he can’t make this stuff up, he can’t invent this; no memory was planted,” Todd told Lauer. “But the peace that came over us, and the healing, like, ‘Wow, I have a daughter in heaven waiting for me’ — I think a lot of people need that type of hope and healing, too. And I think that’s what a lot of people are finding when they hear Colton’s testimony, to know what they have to look forward to.'"

When I saw the video, and read this narrative, I cried for a long time. To some, this may just be a silly child’s story, but to me this gave me so much hope. I have always felt that my children lost to miscarriage were special spirits, and even a glimmer of hope that I might meet them someday is comforting. The thought that we could have celestial children waiting for us is overwhelming. It brings so much joy and peace.

To watch the interview and read the full narrative, CLICK HERE.

Read about Appleseed
Read about Andie


elliespen said...

Thanks for sharing this. I have two little mysteries that I ache for, too (one at 8w, one at 12w). And it's difficult to explain, but when my little boy was finally born he didn't feel like either one of them. I wonder, too, about how it works, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that he's number 3, and 1 and 2 are waiting for us.

AJ said...

This post gave me goosebumps! I truly believe that Heavenly Father lets some of us have these kinds of experiences so that everyone can be reminded of his love for us and of our eternal purpose.

Tami said...

I have wondered the same thing since my's so hard to know, but I always thing back to the saying that "god will make this right in the end". I really can't see any other way for it to be made right except that the baby is part of our family. I wonder for those who believe the spirit returns again, what do they say to someone who never conceives again?
Thank you so much for sharing this....I, like you, will hold on to any glimmer of hope.