Over the past year or so, I began to understand why I had to wait so long to become a mother. This is especially true now that I am pregnant, obviously. :) I can more fully appreciate God’s timing. For some reason, this baby was supposed to come now.
I can say that infertility has taught me so many life lessons and every one of them will make me a better mother than I would have been. The 31-year-old me is much more comfortable in my own skin than the 23-year-old me who first endeavored towards parenthood. (This is not to infer anything about anyone else – I am just speaking for myself.) I can say that my 10-year-marriage is stronger now than our 3-year-marriage was. I can say that the last 7 years were worth it, and if I had to wait longer, that would have been worth it too.
I am beginning to understand the role that infertility has played in my life, and am starting to appreciate it. When I meet my Heavenly Father again someday, I don’t think I will need to ask Him why we had to wait; I think I am already beginning to understand that.
Now THIS is something I’ll never understand…
A woman I know is about my same age. She gets pregnant very easily, and is proud of it. In the last decade or so, she has had four children, all of which have been taken away from her at some point or another and permanently adopted out. Recently, she had a fifth child, and that one too has been placed with a legal guardian.
She is pregnant again, with child number six. Six children, five or six different fathers (I can’t keep track). She joyfully announced this sixth pregnancy, becoming quite defensive if anyone was less than 100% enthusiastic and supportive.
My point is not to bash on this woman (and anyone who does so in the comments will be deleted). My point is to ask why?
I know so many wonderful, caring couples whose number one desire is a child to raise and love. Why can this woman easily have five beautiful, healthy children (not raising a single one of them), while they continue to suffer and wait? And now… she’s pregnant again…
When I meet God, I will ask him this question. Why? I just can’t understand.