I am actually okay with being called “too positive”. There are worse things in this world. What hurts is being told I’m not “real” about this trial of infertility or that I “sugar-coat” my experience.
Hmmm, have you read this post?
Or, more recently, this one?Did you miss the entire year where I was clinically depressed to the point of medical intervention?
Did you forget my miscarriage?
I am writing this blog from my experience and my perspective. I choose to focus on positivity whenever possible, simply because I find I get through the day better when it’s there. Some days that method doesn’t work and I feel bitter and alone. But guess what? I write about those times too.
Just because I don’t declare war on every pregnant woman out there and fill my blog with negativity all the time doesn’t mean I don’t hurt. But concentrating on that doesn’t get me anywhere. At the end of it, I'll still be infertile. But I'll also be angry, bitter and miserable.
Someday, my children will read this story. How wonderful would it be if they could come away from it feeling like their mother handled herself gracefully during these last 8 years? That is my goal. I’m not there yet, but I try. Sometimes, I let out a nice big vent and it feels so good. And then I remember the TRUE goal of my journey, and all that negativity doesn’t seem as important anymore. It is not my purpose.
So, if you are interested in reading how *I* see, feel and experience infertility, stick with me. I promise a journey of faith, hope and the occasional meltdown. Should be a fun time!
If you are only into vents and rages, I have a number of other sites I can suggest instead…