Friday, October 15, 2010


October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, a time to promote awareness for those who are suffering or may know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant.

When I had my miscarriage, I was amazed by how many women contacted me who had also experienced miscarriages. Most of them contacted me privately, through emails or quiet conversations.

What amazed me even more were the stories I heard and the emotions that still surfaced in these women, even 30 years later for some. They spoke about the sadness and longing that was still a part of them. They spoke about feeling alone, and about husbands who couldn’t understand their grief. It was an eye-opening experience.

It is sad how alone these women feel, when in reality there are so many of us. What saddens me more are people who think that miscarriages happen to so many women, it must not be that big of a deal.

But it is huge. It is huge because it is the loss of life, the loss of a dream, and (for a period of time) the loss of hope. It is the loss of what once was, what could have been, and what will never be. Personally, it was the loss of a happiness and a fulfillment that was 7 years in the making. It was devastation.

Fortunately, I am of the mindset that my baby had a spirit. And whether he or she returns in this life or the next, I will hold my little “appleseed” someday, and that baby will be perfect.

I can only speak about miscarriage. I can’t imagine the heartache that comes from the loss of an infant. I hold those families close to my heart today.

So for all those women out there who are suffering in silence and anonymity, I wanted to say that you are not alone in your grief. I am crying with you and for you, and remembering your precious babies today.


Hope said...

Well said. I especially appreciate how you described the magnitude of pain after a miscarriage. So eloquent, and so true.

Thank you.

Susie Demke said...

I've been thinking about you today. I'm still so very sorry for your loss and all the grief and sorrow that accompanied. You are generous to also reach out to those you know and don't know that are hurting as well. My heart aches for you still.
I lend my support and grief to any woman or friend who's suffered such a horrible loss. May they/you be filled with love and pease and knowledge that someday- all will be well.
Much love.

Anonymous said...

It's nice that there is such a day to acknowledge what we have been through. Sadly I wasn't even aware of this day in 2008 - the year of my miscarriage. I'm doing all that I can to promote awareness so that we have the support we need during such difficult times. Hugs to you on this special day.

Rebecca said...

Remembering with you.