Ahh, the wild and wonderful world of pregnancy announcements. They take on a whole new meaning when you're infertile.
First the disclaimer... Pregnancy is such a wonderful event. And the announcement of the pregnancy is one of the best feelings in the world. I know! I've been there! So I would never, never tell someone how they should announce their pregnancy. Obviously, you have every right to announce it in any way you please.
The purpose of this blog is to answer a question I have been asked several times: What is the best way to tell an infertile that you are pregnant?
I have been on the receiving end of some pregnancy announcements that were so painful for me, despite my positive feelings for the people involved, because of the method used.
I can only speak for this infertile. I prefer it to be quick and in writing. I don't like games, because the minute you tell me you want to "talk to me about something exciting" or you want me to "watch this video" or "figure out this riddle", guess what? I already know. :)
But what makes it worse, I can't stop and deal with it at that point. I still have to make the phone call or play along with the riddle because, even though I know, there is always the little voice saying "what if I'm wrong?" It makes the whole experience long and torturous for me. I know it is never intended, but while it is going on, it just feels cruel.
Once I know you are pregnant, I can process the info, compartmentalize my feelings, and move on. The "moving on" part always includes excitement for the soon-to-be parents and a love for the expected baby.
I prefer in writing because it's just easier for me. Call it cowardly, but it feels better to learn this news on my own and allow my natural reactions to come as they come. Email, text, Facebook... all of these work well. I don't like announcements in front of groups of people because, I know from experience, it makes everyone in the room feel weird. They are happy for the couple, but feel awkward around Ryan and I. I get sideways glances and hushed comments, when everyone should be focusing on the excitement of the new pregnancy!
Okay... It took a lot of courage to put this post out there. I've wanted to do it for years, but kept chickening out. I didn't want to hurt people's feelings. I was afraid of negative comments, or hearing how 'selfish' I am. But I finally felt it was time to answer the question I've been asked so many times.
Having said ALL that, you preggos and soon-to-be preggos out there... you share your amazing news however you feel you want to. Us infertiles are pretty good at getting through that situation. Many of us have had a lot of practice. I think I've achieved "pro" status. But for those of you who asked (or who wonder in silence)... quick and in writing is the way to go! ;)