This last weekend, we visited with Trav and Britt and their little guy, Schroeder. During our visit, Brittany and I babysat for her friend's kids, a boy almost two and a girl Schroeder's age.
I got some time to hold some babies. The experience was kind-of emotional and spiritual for me. I know you are never really ready to become a mom but this weekend I felt strongly that I am as ready as I am going to be.
I could be wrong and (obviously) I am because I haven't been blessed with a child. I guess there is something else God wants me to learn. I wish I knew what that was.
I am just so ready to hold a baby of my own. I can't explain it, I just am. I hope someday soon my Father in Heaven will feel the same way. I pray for that day...
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Madly in love but sadly infertile - Finally parents thanks to God above and the miracle of modern medicine!
Ryan and Michelle
Madly in love but sadly infertile - Finally parents thanks to God above and the miracle of modern medicine!
Purpose of this Blog
I started this blog back in 2006, when I first began treatments for infertility. At that time, it had been three years since we had started trying to begin our family. Once treatments began, it became clear that infertility was not a quick detour on this road of life; rather, it's a journey.
But at the end of it all, when those beautiful children finally come into my life, I want them to know that they were loved years before they were mine.
So, I am writing this for me and for them. And if it allows you to peak into my world, then that's good too.
But at the end of it all, when those beautiful children finally come into my life, I want them to know that they were loved years before they were mine.
So, I am writing this for me and for them. And if it allows you to peak into my world, then that's good too.
Our Cheerleaders!
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OUR DIAGNOSIS:
UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY
Treatments
Song of the Moment
My Journey...
- Sept 1996: Our first date - We were 16 years old
- Aug 2000: Married my high school sweetheart
- Jan 2002: Joined a trying-to-conceive online group
- Aug 2003: Officially began TTC
- April 2004: Got an ovulation kit
- July 2004: Referral to Dr. Synn - Fertility Specialist
- Sept 2004: Did a battery of fertility tests. All normal.
- Oct 2006: Began blogging my fertility experiences
- Oct 2006: 1st round of Clomid - BFN
- Dec 2006: 2nd round of Clomid (with patches and progesterone) - BFN
- Jan 2007: 3rd round of Clomid (with patches, progesterone, and IUI) - BFN
- Feb 2007: 4th round of Clomid (with patches, progesterone, and IUI) - BFN
- June 2007: Laparoscopic and Hysteroscopic Surgery - No endo found
- July 2007: Repeated all fertility-related blood work. All numbers look perfect.
- April 2008: First acupuncture appointment
- May 2008: Thyroid panel testing - All normal
- Sept 2008: Began sessions with a psychologist
- Jan 2009: Started Treatment for Depression
- Sept 2009: Repeated Bloodwork - Numbers still normal
- Oct 2009: Back on the acupuncture bandwagon
- Jan 2010: Another Break
- March 2010: Fully weened off the antidepressants
- May 2010: Back to the RE; Second HSG. Tubes all clear.
- July 2010: 1st Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Aug 2010: 2nd Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - First Ever BFP!!!
- Sept 2010: Miscarriage at 5 weeks
- Oct 2010: 3rd Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Nov 2010: 4th Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFN
- Jan 2011: 5th Medicated IUI Cycle with Follistim - BFP!
- Oct 2011: FINALLY held our baby girl in our arms. Life is Good.
"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."-Gordon B Hinckley
Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we wanted them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.
- Joseph F. Smith
- Joseph F. Smith
Hope Springs Eternal
FAITH
Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.
- Gordon B. Hinckley
- Gordon B. Hinckley
My Desire
What we consistently desire, over time is what we we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.
Neal A. Maxwell
Neal A. Maxwell
The Pain of Infertility...
My Poetry:
If I Was Blind
My Videos:
Faith and Fertility...
A Year in the Life of Infertility...
Carry Your Cross...
His Hands...
3 comments:
Michelle,
I know tooo many women who have journeyed thi s road...my heart hurts with you. thre is a great friend of mine whose blog you might want to check out...they have had two miscarriages, and she is finally pregnant with a baby boy...after trying fro a year and a half, and losing two :( I will pray for you both as you come to mind, and I am sure you have seen everything out there, but I have to throw htis out there, a book called "Taking charge of your fertility" Don't mean to be that annoying suggestion you have already heard, but just in case you haven't :) Anyhow,I pray that your womb is opened...and believe with you that God makes all things beautiful, in His time...as often asa it is not the same as ours, it is His promise to us...so we can stand firm there adn cling to the garments of grace.
Blessings,
Sensibility
I forgot thhe blog, you can get to it through mine...it is called Joy Unspeakable...she has a link to their baby blog there too.
Thank you for your kind words. I have read that book and it is wonderful. Very helpful.
Your friend's blog is beautiful. I am so happy she finally got her miracle.
Thanks again for your prayers.
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