Monday, May 10, 2010

Yesterday

Seventh Mother's Day trying to become a mom and by far this one was the easiest to get through.

Friday, I came home from work to find a beautiful bouquet from Ryan. He's been buying me flowers a lot lately, and when I asked him why, he said he just felt he should show me how much he loves me more often.

The weekend began with a vivid dream that I was pregnant. I was going about my normal life, but with a happiness I've waited so long for. It felt so real, I considered that dream my little inoculation shot to get me though the weekend.

Both Saturday and Sunday were filled with such love. There were notes, texts, emails, facebook messages, a yummy homemade treat and even a couple special deliveries...

Thank you so much for these, you know who you are. ;)

Sunday morning, I slept in. I received a cute and encouraging email from my mom. I worked on sewing skirts for my nieces. Then, Ryan come home and gave me my first ever Mother's Day card. Yes, that's right. A Mother's Day card for someone who is not a mother. I know some people would disagree with that, but if anyone knows the pain I've been through trying to achieve motherhood, he has...

Here is what was written on the front of the card:

Love means sharing the fun times,
the ordinary times,
and even the challenging times.
It means knowing all the time
that love is sweeter
because it is shared by two.

Inside was a sweet message, including his prediction that my first "official" Mother's Day is very near.

I did go to church the 3rd hour to see my Young Women. I had felt guilty about skipping the first part of church but, once I was there, that guilt faded away. Being there the 3rd hour, it was just like any other Sunday. I have finally learned over the years that I don't have to 'prove myself' on that day. I can just do what I need to do to take care of myself, and that's okay.

The best part of this weekend was doing things for the 'moms' in my life, mine and Ryan's mom and step-mom. It was great to honor each of them.

I will never forget the kindness that was shown to me this weekend. Women who should have been enjoying their special day were reaching out to me. I was awed and humbled by it all. When I finally make it to the other side, and I look into the face of my child, I will see all of you. I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you.

2 comments:

Shirley said...

Beautiful post! I'm glad you had such a pleasant day, surrounded by the care and thoughts of people who love you. =)

Luna said...

Ryan picks out GREAT flowers! What a great weekend! And frankly.... you are a mother. You are already doing so many things that a mother needs to do to keep her family safe and happy. (Keeping yourself happy and healthy, praying for your family, learning how to "keep" a home by budgeting, cooking, cleaning, preparing.) That is a small list of everything you do already as a mother, because you are one. You deserve every bit of Mother's day goo and gush that you got and then some!

PS.... can Ryan send me flowers next year?

FAITH IN GOD MEANS HAVING FAITH IN HIS TIMING.