Sunday, April 4, 2010

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I did not cry this Easter weekend. Not one tear. Even when I:
  • spent nearly the entire day at home by myself.
  • had no one to teach the true Easter story to.
  • read Facebook postings about all the Easter Egg hunts going on and the cute Easter outfits that my friends' kids wore.
  • had no Easter basket to prepare because there was no one to give it to.
  • listened to Church Conference that included many talks on parenting, with one talk focused entirely on motherhood.
  • had no reason to get up at the crack of dawn and hide eggs.

Instead, I:

  • spent hours and hours preparing and executing a fundraiser for my Young Women so they can all attend Girls' Camp at little/no cost to them.
  • listened to Church Conference and took away from it those things that matter to me right now.
  • made a lemon cake for my family to enjoy.
  • spent all day sewing skirts for my nieces.
  • said lots of little prayers throughout the day.
  • bought a couple favorite Easter candies and ate them all myself.

Compared to the Easters in years past, I felt I made it through this one quite well! No pity parties. When I felt one coming on, I just tried to change my thinking. I concentrated on serving others, while doing little things for myself too. I tried to think about the true meaning of Easter, and how it pertained to me.

I wonder if someday, when Easter has become the fun and chaotic madness it is when you have children, I will look back at this Easter with fond memories. The Easter I spent all alone. Interesting thought.

4 comments:

Wes and Dani said...

I'm glad you posted this. I felt the same way this Easter...particularly about the conference talks. It seemed like every other one was focused on children/eternal families/parenthood.

Someday we'll get to fill up Easter baskets and buy our children Easter clothes, too...

Christine Dallimore said...

I know I say this 1000 times, but I love your blog!!! You put everything into such a wonderful perspective. It's real, but the words you write are inspiring to so many out there- especially me. You help us to feel like we can do it, we are not crazy for the feelings we feel and it gives a unique glimpse into your beautiful soul. I also love that you spent time focusing on others while doing small things for yourself as well. I bet your nieces will LOVE the skirts you made them too!!!

Luna said...

I bet you will remember this Easter very fondly. What a special time to be introspective and productive and really get the best of the Season.

And a lemon cake.... YUM!

I have to say... I really love your blog. I know I don't have the same struggles as you, but your blog really talks to all adversity. I learn so much about appreciation and endurance and joy from you!

Susie Demke said...

I especially loved the second talk given at the Sat morning session. Boyd K. Packer? (Not 100% sure). Dealing with adversity. I did notice lots of talks addressed to mothers/parents and I thought of you Michelle and Ryan. You were in my heart and I was hoping you were doing okay that day. I also noticed a theme in the others, really giving us instruction on how to deal with adversity and sadness and even depression and anxiety! (me) that I really enjoyed. I felt very inspired. I should be doing what you are by finding small ways to make others happy (mentioned in talk). I can't sew, but I'm sure there's plenty of other things I can do.
It was mentioned above in your comments that this blog is a source of strength not just to those that struggle with infertility but those that... struggle. Which is all of us.
Love you so much.

FAITH IN GOD MEANS HAVING FAITH IN HIS TIMING.