Once I passed age 30, I found myself instantly concerned with a few issues...
First, I could now hear the clock ticking. Not like I hadn't heard it before, but I immediately felt this "countdown to 35" begin.
At the age of 35, a pregnant woman is usually assigned to a specialist automatically. Why? Because she is considered a geriatric pregnancy.
SERIOUSLY? A GERIATRIC pregnancy??? Really, with our modern-day advances, we can't figure out a better term for an older mother?
Plus, the medical community takes every opportunity to remind you about all the risks that are associated with 'older mothers'. Thanks.
Way to bring a girl down.
Not that I would mind being pregnant at 35. I would be over the moon. I would proudly take that geriatric pregnancy label and wear it on my forehead if I needed to.
But nevertheless, I hear the countdown. And it's not pretty.
Another issue I have is with the way that others judge the infertile community. Especially the 'older' infertiles. (I have to say, that in this instance, I am mainly referring to the Mormon community... whom I love... for the most part...)
I know, I know, I'm still young. Blah, blah, blah.
But I am now in my 30's. And many people tend to look at women who have infertility issues in their 30s and think that we 'brought this on ourselves' by waiting too long to pursue a family. We put our careers / travel / money / fun first and now that we are ready for a family we 'waited too long'.
What people don't realize is that many of these 'older infertiles' didn't wait. And even if they did, who are we to judge?
However, *I* started trying to begin my family when I was 23!
How ironic that if I had gotten pregnant right away at age 23, some would have thought I was 'too young'. But now that I will be in my 30s when I become a mom, others would call me an 'older mother'.
Which brings me to my last gripe (for tonight): When I do become a mom at 31 or 32 or 38, will I have anything, anything in common with the new 21-year-old moms at church? Will the age difference be blaring in my face, or will our new-motherness bridge the age gap?
So many questions tonight, but not a lot of answers. Sigh.
And life goes on...