Sunday, April 4, 2010

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I did not cry this Easter weekend. Not one tear. Even when I:
  • spent nearly the entire day at home by myself.
  • had no one to teach the true Easter story to.
  • read Facebook postings about all the Easter Egg hunts going on and the cute Easter outfits that my friends' kids wore.
  • had no Easter basket to prepare because there was no one to give it to.
  • listened to Church Conference that included many talks on parenting, with one talk focused entirely on motherhood.
  • had no reason to get up at the crack of dawn and hide eggs.

Instead, I:

  • spent hours and hours preparing and executing a fundraiser for my Young Women so they can all attend Girls' Camp at little/no cost to them.
  • listened to Church Conference and took away from it those things that matter to me right now.
  • made a lemon cake for my family to enjoy.
  • spent all day sewing skirts for my nieces.
  • said lots of little prayers throughout the day.
  • bought a couple favorite Easter candies and ate them all myself.

Compared to the Easters in years past, I felt I made it through this one quite well! No pity parties. When I felt one coming on, I just tried to change my thinking. I concentrated on serving others, while doing little things for myself too. I tried to think about the true meaning of Easter, and how it pertained to me.

I wonder if someday, when Easter has become the fun and chaotic madness it is when you have children, I will look back at this Easter with fond memories. The Easter I spent all alone. Interesting thought.


Wes and Dani said...

I'm glad you posted this. I felt the same way this Easter...particularly about the conference talks. It seemed like every other one was focused on children/eternal families/parenthood.

Someday we'll get to fill up Easter baskets and buy our children Easter clothes, too...

Christine Dallimore said...

I know I say this 1000 times, but I love your blog!!! You put everything into such a wonderful perspective. It's real, but the words you write are inspiring to so many out there- especially me. You help us to feel like we can do it, we are not crazy for the feelings we feel and it gives a unique glimpse into your beautiful soul. I also love that you spent time focusing on others while doing small things for yourself as well. I bet your nieces will LOVE the skirts you made them too!!!

Luna said...

I bet you will remember this Easter very fondly. What a special time to be introspective and productive and really get the best of the Season.

And a lemon cake.... YUM!

I have to say... I really love your blog. I know I don't have the same struggles as you, but your blog really talks to all adversity. I learn so much about appreciation and endurance and joy from you!

Susie Demke said...

I especially loved the second talk given at the Sat morning session. Boyd K. Packer? (Not 100% sure). Dealing with adversity. I did notice lots of talks addressed to mothers/parents and I thought of you Michelle and Ryan. You were in my heart and I was hoping you were doing okay that day. I also noticed a theme in the others, really giving us instruction on how to deal with adversity and sadness and even depression and anxiety! (me) that I really enjoyed. I felt very inspired. I should be doing what you are by finding small ways to make others happy (mentioned in talk). I can't sew, but I'm sure there's plenty of other things I can do.
It was mentioned above in your comments that this blog is a source of strength not just to those that struggle with infertility but those that... struggle. Which is all of us.
Love you so much.