In switching over my blog from Our Fertility Story to In Pursuit of Parenthood, I decided to take a quick stroll down memory lane and read a few posts from 2006, when the blog first began. I couldn't read every entry, as it becomes too painful, but I did notice a fear and anxiety related to the ovulation trigger shot I had been prescribed at that time.
I used to be pretty frightened of needles. It began with a blood-taking nightmare as a child (when someone announces they are "new to this", request a nurse change - trust me) and grew from there. I remember as a teenager going on the "blood bus" where my dad was giving blood, to ask him for the keys to the car. I passed out and was immediately laid down in a seat to recover. Just being around needles was enough to make me a light-headed, nauseous mess. Hence the anxiety of giving the ovulation trigger shot to myself. I remember the first time I tried it, I didn't use enough force to penetrate the skin and my needle literally bounced off my stomach. I almost passed out right then and there on the bathroom floor at work. Uggg.
Well, I guess things have changed. Necessity is the mother of invention, isn't that what they say? Well, maybe Necessity also gave birth to tolerance. In the last week, I not only have done two blood tests (filling seven vials...yup seven) but I actually voluntarily gave blood on a blood bus. Now, truth be told, I almost passed out from that experience too but the important thing is I did it, and I did it willingly. I would even do it again (once this bruise on my arm disappears).
Needles... please! I pay a man to tap needles into my skin on almost a weekly basis. In they go, and not only into typical places like arms and legs, but on my feet, inside my ears, and into my head.
So, I wouldn't say I like needles now, but I think we have a mutual respect for each other. They are a means to an end and, once this whole process is over, I hope to see less of them. But, for now, they are a part of life.