So, I know in my infertility Game Plan I said that we would take a break between treatment cycles. One month on, one month off, assuming we could afford it.
I have decided to alter the game plan.
As I am coming up on the end of this cycle, I contemplate the idea that this month’s treatment will be a failure. This very real thought makes my heart sink and my throat constrict. I can literally feel the devastation hovering over me. The thought that I will have to live in that devastation for an entire month while I wait for the next treatment cycle is unbearable.
We have the money now. I have left-over medication that will make this next cycle a bit cheaper. Why wait?
Although the treatment process is taxing and exhausting, there is something else I feel while going through it. Hope. I have felt hope so strong for the first time in years, and I am addicted. I just can’t pack it away for a whole month unnecessarily.
The nice thing about an IUI treatment cycle is the process literally starts on Day 1. If I find out this month failed, I will be back in the saddle again within a few days. That kind of distraction is priceless.
Deep in the back of my mind, I know that refusing to take a break now could result in a longer, forced break next time. Most people (including us) can’t afford to do this every month for an extended time. But, the optimistic side of me thinks if I get pregnant next time, it won’t matter that the IF well has run dry. That being said...
On with the show!
P.S. Early response pregnancy tests are the devil!!!! >:-(