Father's Day has always been a bit easier than Mother's Day. Maybe it's because hubby has handled our infertility much more gracefully than I have, I'm not sure. That is why today surprised me... it was harder than I expected.
At church this morning, I watched all of the kids come up to the front and sing to their dads. It was adorable, and achingly sad. I still have no child up there.
The Bishop asked all fathers to stand and receive their treat. Ryan wasn't even there (he was working). So why did it hurt so much not to see him standing up next to me?
When I headed out to my car to leave, I saw kids jumping into minivans and SUVs. I couldn't help but wonder what surprises were waiting for those dads at home. Maybe their favorite item for dinner, or a yummy dessert? A scribbled drawing or just a father's day hug? All things that I knew my husband would not be receiving today.
The day turned when I went to my Dad's tonight. I gave him a long hug and thought of all those out there who don't have their fathers to hold. Those who have dads in the military. People who might not know their dad. Or perhaps those with fathers who have passed away. What these people would give for what I still have...
Finally, I thought of my Father in Heaven. The One who has treated me as only a parent could. He forgives me when I stomp my feet and question why. He feels my pain and understands my frustrations. He withholds blessings, as much as it hurts me, because there is a greater purpose. And when I forget that, He quietly reminds me.
And He reminded me today.
I hope all those dads out there had a wonderful Father's Day. I want to wish my hubby a Happy Father's Day too. Thank you for sacrificing so much to help me become a mom someday.