Sunday, June 15, 2008

Dream Crushers and a Hungarian Folktale

Ever met a dream crusher? You probably have. If you haven't, just try something like alternative medicine after 5 years of infertility and the dream crushers will emerge. I have met a few over the last couple months. These are good and caring people who deep down have a hard time when someone makes a choice that is out of their comfort zone. They struggle in showing happiness over someone else's success. Perhaps the following quote describes it best:

"In some cases there's a wish, however unconscious, to commiserate rather than rejoice."

So they are skeptics of my choices and doubters of any possible breakthroughs. They only show encouragement when I consider an action they deem "plausible". Even if they feign support with what they say, they can not hide the cynicism written on their face. Things like diet or herbs or acupuncture could not possibly reverse whatever mystery is ailing me. Only the men in the white coats can be trusted. Anything else is foolishness.

And when it appears that one of these "silly" alternatives is making a difference, then the success is "psychological" or can be explained by some other inconspicuous fact.

Over time, I've learned to "recognize the destroyers in my life, the people who can't resist poking a finger into my tower of blocks and watch them scatter all over the floor. The 'realists' who stand by with a list of a hundred rational reasons not to disrupt the pattern of acceptable solutions."

Learning to shake off their pessimism and disbelief has been a struggle. But over time, I have found a voice inside me. Sometimes, all it says is "You'll show them", but other times I am actually able to believe their opinion doesn't matter. Which it doesn't.

I don't know how to live in a world without hope, faith, or miracles. To picture such a world feels silent and empty. I refuse to explain away the unexplainable, attributing these events to coincidence or happenstance. To do this seems, in my eyes, foolish.

To those dream crushers out there, thanks for the ammunition. You have encouraged the rebel inside me to prove you wrong. However I choose to have my family, I will one day be fulfilled. And then maybe you can find some other person you can push down to lift yourself up.


A simple Hungarian folktale...

"There was once a very sad and frail princess. The merest gust of cool air made her cough and take to bed with fever. The king and queen promised half the kingdom to anyone who would save their daughter, Anna. Healers from far away mixed their potions and cast their spells. The princess remained sickly and inconsolable.

Then one day, just when it looked like the poor girl was going to whither away, a peasant from the nearby village showed up at the castle. 'My name is Barna Janos,' he said to the king, 'and I came to cure the princess.'

He brought a wagon full of vegetables and fruits from his farm. He prescribed lots of sunshine and fresh air. He invited some children from the village to teach her their games. Within a month the princess was ready to live happily ever after.

'You're only a simple peasant. How did you know what would heal our daughter?' asked the queen.

'I didn't,' said Janos. 'But I would have been a fool not to try.'"


Poduska Family said...

After having been to numerous doctors, I have learned that their science is not as perfect as they think, and that the body is open to all sorts of alternative treatments because it really is the last frontier that we are still learning so much about. I am proud of you Michelle! Keep going!

Isa said...

Don't let anyone else pull you down! You rock! Amen to all your wisdom!!!

Brittany said...

I liked it best when you said you do not need to explain away the unexplicable. If all the doctors you have seen don't have the answers why should you! You go!

RMCarter said...

Thanks, ladies, for lifting me up. You are all such great friends. I am so blessed.