Could it be... hope???
Thursday I went back to acupuncture. Back, but to a new place. Instead of meeting with Tim, I searched out another advocate. I found "Dr. Oh".
Unlike Tim, Dr. Oh has had experience with patients dealing with infertility. Our first appointment went very well. Dr. Oh has put me on acupuncture every week, a strict regimen of four different herbs throughout my cycle, and orders to reduce stress (we'll see how that last one goes!). His methods have resulted in 4 successful pregnancies for his patients this year. The usual length of treatment before success is 2 1/2 to 3 months.
Now I know none of this is a guarantee that it could happen for me, but something else exciting happened yesterday. I had hope! I had nearly forgotten what that felt like.
In fact, the biggest part of this whole experience was that it happened at all. For the last couple years (since my unproductive surgery), I have felt hopeless... which slid into depression. Even last year, when I first tried TCM, I felt lost in my treatment and gave up.
So, after literally years of depression, the very fact that I have picked myself up, dusted myself off, and tried again speaks volumes.
Here we go again!
Showing posts with label Herbs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Herbs. Show all posts
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
'You have to admit, it's gettin' better...'
Consider this your warning... this post might contain TMI ( "TMI? Too Much Information. It's just easier to say 'TMI'. I used to say 'don't go there', but that's lame." ).
Seriously though, folks. This blog is to document my journey through the world of infertility. Mostly, I write about the emotional side, but there is a whole physical aspect too. And there's been progress. Thus, I write.
Proceed at your own risk.
I am talking about cycles. Menstrual cycles, that is. There... I said it. And you can't even see me blush! Ha! Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anyone you've been reading about my cycles...
So, guess what? Mine's been a'changing.
I was always the teenager with the regular cycles. Every fourth Wednesday, I would start my period. It would be accompanied by severe cramps that would last all day. A few times, I couldn't even make it to the nurse's office, they were so bad! That would be my heaviest day and it would be normal flow and color (I warned you!).
Side note: It was these very cramps that convinced 3 doctors I had endometriosis. Turns out... I didn't.
Then, I started birth control. The cramps subsided for the most part and my flow was lighter in color and amount. I took birth control pills mostly, with two rounds of the DepoProvera shot (I rue the day I did that). I used birth control for the first 3 years of my marriage (2000 - 2003).
Five years ago, this month, I stopped taking the pill. From that point on, I would still be "regular", but I would spot my way into my period. I'm talking about 6-7 days of spotting. Then, when it finally came, it was light in flow and the color was wrong. It wasn't the same. Not only that, but I had "breakthrough" bleeding mid-cycle. So, I would be spotting for nearly half of my cycle, but never really having a period.
I tried to be patient, as I was told (countless times by well-intentioned people) that it takes some time for your body to readjust after being on the pill. But YEARS went by, and my cycles stayed the same.
Finally, in April, I began taking herbs. I also started acupuncture. I began to notice a change in my cycles. No more breakthrough bleeding and less spotting before my period. It was greatly encouraging.
And then... BAM! This month was amazing. I spotted for a day or two and it was a perfect light pink color. Two days later, I had cramps all day that were reminiscent of my teenage years. I also flowed heavy that day - a beautiful, bright red - the best period I've had in five years.
Now, if you think it's strange or weird to be excited about your period, try five years of heartache and frustration, of not knowing what's wrong with your body, of seeing several doctors with no answers, of expensive tests with no results, of tears and anger and hopelessness.
Trust me, live through all that, and you can get pretty excited about your period.
In the last several months, I've tried a few different herbal combinations and it has progressively gotten better. Last month, I decided to simplify and use a prenatal vitamin/herbal supplement called FertilAid. Since this has been the best month yet, I'm going to stick with this combo for now and see what happens.
Like anyone who has hoped and been disappointed, I am cautious about reading too much into this one cycle. On the other hand, I am trying to celebrate any successes, no matter how big or small.
As the song goes, "You have to admit, it's gettin' better... it's gettin' better all the time!"
I pray it stays that way.
Seriously though, folks. This blog is to document my journey through the world of infertility. Mostly, I write about the emotional side, but there is a whole physical aspect too. And there's been progress. Thus, I write.
Proceed at your own risk.
I am talking about cycles. Menstrual cycles, that is. There... I said it. And you can't even see me blush! Ha! Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anyone you've been reading about my cycles...
So, guess what? Mine's been a'changing.
I was always the teenager with the regular cycles. Every fourth Wednesday, I would start my period. It would be accompanied by severe cramps that would last all day. A few times, I couldn't even make it to the nurse's office, they were so bad! That would be my heaviest day and it would be normal flow and color (I warned you!).
Side note: It was these very cramps that convinced 3 doctors I had endometriosis. Turns out... I didn't.
Then, I started birth control. The cramps subsided for the most part and my flow was lighter in color and amount. I took birth control pills mostly, with two rounds of the DepoProvera shot (I rue the day I did that). I used birth control for the first 3 years of my marriage (2000 - 2003).
Five years ago, this month, I stopped taking the pill. From that point on, I would still be "regular", but I would spot my way into my period. I'm talking about 6-7 days of spotting. Then, when it finally came, it was light in flow and the color was wrong. It wasn't the same. Not only that, but I had "breakthrough" bleeding mid-cycle. So, I would be spotting for nearly half of my cycle, but never really having a period.
I tried to be patient, as I was told (countless times by well-intentioned people) that it takes some time for your body to readjust after being on the pill. But YEARS went by, and my cycles stayed the same.
Finally, in April, I began taking herbs. I also started acupuncture. I began to notice a change in my cycles. No more breakthrough bleeding and less spotting before my period. It was greatly encouraging.
And then... BAM! This month was amazing. I spotted for a day or two and it was a perfect light pink color. Two days later, I had cramps all day that were reminiscent of my teenage years. I also flowed heavy that day - a beautiful, bright red - the best period I've had in five years.
Now, if you think it's strange or weird to be excited about your period, try five years of heartache and frustration, of not knowing what's wrong with your body, of seeing several doctors with no answers, of expensive tests with no results, of tears and anger and hopelessness.
Trust me, live through all that, and you can get pretty excited about your period.
In the last several months, I've tried a few different herbal combinations and it has progressively gotten better. Last month, I decided to simplify and use a prenatal vitamin/herbal supplement called FertilAid. Since this has been the best month yet, I'm going to stick with this combo for now and see what happens.
Like anyone who has hoped and been disappointed, I am cautious about reading too much into this one cycle. On the other hand, I am trying to celebrate any successes, no matter how big or small.
As the song goes, "You have to admit, it's gettin' better... it's gettin' better all the time!"
I pray it stays that way.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
An Improvement!
This has been my second cycle using diet, herbs, and acupuncture. I did not get pregnant, but I have noticed marked improvements in my cycles!
Prior to beginning treatment, I would spot for 7 - 8 days and then have a 2 day, very light period. What is the significance of that? It's an indicator that I did not build up a good lining in my uterus during my leutel phase. A baby can not implant in a teeny, tiny lining. A rich full lining is needed to provide a home for an embryo. Not only that, the spotting would begin early in the cycle, causing a short leutal phase, which is also anti-pregnancy.
Well, last cycle (my first using TCM), I went 23 days before spotting. Once the spotting began, it lasted just a few days and then a more normal period followed. This cycle, I went a full 26 days with no spotting, one day of spotting, followed by what looks like a "normal" period. I am beginning to improve!
So, I plan to continue with this treatment next cycle, with a couple additions. The biggest addition has to do with timing ovulation. The temperature taking helps me to know I have ovulated, but not until 3 days afterward (your temperature takes a dip at ovulation and then rises, but you can't be sure until it has truly risen for three days). Adding the Fertility Monitor will tell me of ovulation the day before it occurs.
Why am I doing all this? I know there are those of you who think, "You're trying too hard". In fact, several of you have told this directly to me. I have one response to that. It is from the book "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova and when I read it, I felt like it came straight from my heart:
"Certainly, no one can guarantee that our efforts will crack the code and bring us the result we hope for. The only thing that is certain is that taking an active part in the treatment process leaves less room for despair. It creates opportunities we could not have anticipated. In the last seven years of working with people, it has become clear to me that sewn deep in the lining of the most unattractive garment - whether it's labeled infertility, fibromyalgia, depression or any other name - is a precious gem. Our task is to find that gem; discover what it is for each of us and to draw strength from the search."
Nothing I am doing is harmful or risky. In fact, it can only be beneficial: physically, hormonally, and emotionally. No time was so miserable as this last year, the year I tried to "forget about it". I'm sorry, but this heartbreak is unforgettable and when I was trying not to think about it, I was a numbed-out version of myself. The times it did cross my mind, I felt guilty and shoved it away. It was an awful way to live.
Now I am embracing this situation and all that comes with it. The knowledge, the experimentation, the good days and the bad. I no longer feel guilty for my days of longing, and overall I have been happier and more relaxed than I have been in a long time.
I would adopt a baby right now if I could. After all, I'm pursuing parenthood, not necessarily fertility. But adoption costs money that I do not have right now. So, in the meantime, I can go about this naturally. If God wants me to have my baby biologically, I guess I'll get pregnant. If nothing else, at least I'll have the healthiest body I've ever had.
________________________________________________
In an attempt to see where I have been and where I am going, I thought it will be helpful for me to list it here. Writing out my "plan" makes it formal and empowering!
What I did this cycle:
Entire Cycle -
Temperature taking and charting
Prenatal Vitamin each night
2 Times a day - Chaste tree (Vitex)
Before Ovulation -
3 Times a day: 3 tablets "Seven Forests Woman's Treasure" (Nii Bao Pian)
During Ovulation -
Slowly weaning off "Woman's Treasure" and starting "Health Concerns Woman's Balance" (Dan Zhi Xiao Yao San)
1 session Acupuncture
After Ovulation:
3 Times a day: 3 tablets of "Woman's Balance"
Beginning 2 Times a day and increasing to 4 Times a day: ProgonB (Natural Progesterone)
1 session Acupuncture
Additions for next cycle:
Entire Cycle -
Improving my diet, exercise, and relaxation
During Ovulation -
ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor
Pre-Seed
After Ovulation -
Progesterone Creme
Prior to beginning treatment, I would spot for 7 - 8 days and then have a 2 day, very light period. What is the significance of that? It's an indicator that I did not build up a good lining in my uterus during my leutel phase. A baby can not implant in a teeny, tiny lining. A rich full lining is needed to provide a home for an embryo. Not only that, the spotting would begin early in the cycle, causing a short leutal phase, which is also anti-pregnancy.
Well, last cycle (my first using TCM), I went 23 days before spotting. Once the spotting began, it lasted just a few days and then a more normal period followed. This cycle, I went a full 26 days with no spotting, one day of spotting, followed by what looks like a "normal" period. I am beginning to improve!
So, I plan to continue with this treatment next cycle, with a couple additions. The biggest addition has to do with timing ovulation. The temperature taking helps me to know I have ovulated, but not until 3 days afterward (your temperature takes a dip at ovulation and then rises, but you can't be sure until it has truly risen for three days). Adding the Fertility Monitor will tell me of ovulation the day before it occurs.
Why am I doing all this? I know there are those of you who think, "You're trying too hard". In fact, several of you have told this directly to me. I have one response to that. It is from the book "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova and when I read it, I felt like it came straight from my heart:
"Certainly, no one can guarantee that our efforts will crack the code and bring us the result we hope for. The only thing that is certain is that taking an active part in the treatment process leaves less room for despair. It creates opportunities we could not have anticipated. In the last seven years of working with people, it has become clear to me that sewn deep in the lining of the most unattractive garment - whether it's labeled infertility, fibromyalgia, depression or any other name - is a precious gem. Our task is to find that gem; discover what it is for each of us and to draw strength from the search."
Nothing I am doing is harmful or risky. In fact, it can only be beneficial: physically, hormonally, and emotionally. No time was so miserable as this last year, the year I tried to "forget about it". I'm sorry, but this heartbreak is unforgettable and when I was trying not to think about it, I was a numbed-out version of myself. The times it did cross my mind, I felt guilty and shoved it away. It was an awful way to live.
Now I am embracing this situation and all that comes with it. The knowledge, the experimentation, the good days and the bad. I no longer feel guilty for my days of longing, and overall I have been happier and more relaxed than I have been in a long time.
I would adopt a baby right now if I could. After all, I'm pursuing parenthood, not necessarily fertility. But adoption costs money that I do not have right now. So, in the meantime, I can go about this naturally. If God wants me to have my baby biologically, I guess I'll get pregnant. If nothing else, at least I'll have the healthiest body I've ever had.
________________________________________________
In an attempt to see where I have been and where I am going, I thought it will be helpful for me to list it here. Writing out my "plan" makes it formal and empowering!
What I did this cycle:
Entire Cycle -
Temperature taking and charting
Prenatal Vitamin each night
2 Times a day - Chaste tree (Vitex)
Before Ovulation -
3 Times a day: 3 tablets "Seven Forests Woman's Treasure" (Nii Bao Pian)
During Ovulation -
Slowly weaning off "Woman's Treasure" and starting "Health Concerns Woman's Balance" (Dan Zhi Xiao Yao San)
1 session Acupuncture
After Ovulation:
3 Times a day: 3 tablets of "Woman's Balance"
Beginning 2 Times a day and increasing to 4 Times a day: ProgonB (Natural Progesterone)
1 session Acupuncture
Additions for next cycle:
Entire Cycle -
Improving my diet, exercise, and relaxation
During Ovulation -
ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor
Pre-Seed
After Ovulation -
Progesterone Creme
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