In celebration of my 29th birthday, I am attempting the ultimate task: 29 Things Infertility Is Teaching Me.
And here we go (in no particular order):
1. Good people say stupid things. Stupid people say stupid things. Forgive the good ones, and dismiss the stupid ones.
2. Holidays aren't a happy time for everyone.
3. Even though people experience different trials, many of the feelings and emotions are exactly the same.
4. Cats make great friends.
5. Patience is truly a virtue.
6. Be sensitive about what another might be going through, but don't treat them differently. They already feel different enough.
7. You are not to blame for your infertility, no matter what people say. You are not infertile because God is punishing you. You are not keeping yourself from pregnancy because you can't "relax".
8. While events like baby showers are wonderful for most, they are painful for some, no matter what precautions are taken. It's a fact and nothing can change it.
9. God never abandons you; you abandon Him.
10. Music can speak louder than 1000 words.
11. Force yourself to look at people's intentions, rather than their actions. It doesn't always help, but it does sometimes.
12. Doctors don't know everything.
13. Sometimes having faith is harder than you'd think, but so worth it.
14. You have the power to choose who you let in.
15. There will always be setbacks. Things rarely turn out as planned.
16. Try to enjoy the time alone with your husband, but it's okay to be annoyed when people tell you to do that.
17. It's acceptable to be angry, even pissed, about the place you are in your life. Just don't get stuck there for too long.
18. Therapy is a good thing, and not indicitive of a lack of strength.
19. Sometimes, you just don't want to be around kids, simply because it's too hard. But that doesn't make you a bad person.
20. Be careful with jealousy. It may seem another person has it all, but they may soon experience (or may be experiencing) something you wouldn't wish on anyone. You don't want to think (or say) something you'll regret.
21. Avoid dreamcrushers.
22. No matter what your current situation, there are people out there that would call you lucky.
23. It is okay to grieve infertility. It is just as much a loss as anything else.
24. You can miss people you've never met.
25. We typically compare our weaknesses to other people's strengths. This is not a fair comparison.
26. Take care of yourself, even if it means being greedy with your time, energy or emotions.
27. Every baby is a miracle.
28. You will never be the same person you were before, but you can learn to love the new you.
29. You will survive this, and be stronger on the other side. The love and appreciation you will have for your babies will be incalculable. Believe it or not, this will all be worth it in the end.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways, acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct thy paths.