Update on our status: It seems as though Ryan may get back on at the police department by the middle of March. This means it will probably be the first of April before our income improves enough to begin saving for the next stage of treatment. Looks like my month off of trying to conceive turned into two or three. I am okay with it though. I have hard days, for sure, but this time off is getting a little easier as time goes on. I am just trying to enjoy my husband, friends and family. I am forcing myself to laugh more and cry less. I am trying to get closer to God and have more faith and less despair. So far it’s working, as today was the best day I’ve had in a long time.
When you are unable to be proactive in trying to conceive, sometimes it gets tough. You feel like time is ticking by and you aren’t doing anything to better your situation. I am getting better and better at coping with this and writing what’s inside my heart is very therapeutic for me. So for the next couple months, while we are saving money, this journal will contain more reflections and not as many factual updates. If you want to join up with me once we get the ball rolling again, check back in mid-April.