Friday, December 1, 2006

Gambling

I have never been a gambler. It's just not in my character. When I have money I want to keep it, plain and simple. Well, I gambled tonight...

Do you know how much Progesterone pills cost? Well, let me enlighten you. They are $325. I felt like I had been slapped across the face when I heard that tonight at Walgreen's. Now, don't get me wrong. I would give every penny I own to be a mom...in an ideal world. But in this less than perfect existence, we have things called mortgages, food, and gas to buy.

So, I was faced with a decision. Do I buy the pills even though they may not help one bit, or do I skip that step and hope the other investments I've purchased (Clomid, ultrasounds, patch, etc) are enough?

As my mind was spinning trying to decide what to do, I remembered those 2 follicles sitting in my ovary. Here I was actually considering not doing everything I can to get those babies here! And all over what? Money?

This is when I became a gambling woman.

I bought the pills. Yeah, things will be tight for a little while now. Christmas may not be so merry, materially speaking. But I now I won't look back and wonder if this was the crucial element I was missing. I placed my bet, and if I get burned so be it.

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FAITH IN GOD MEANS HAVING FAITH IN HIS TIMING.